Things I Wish I Knew Before Quitting Medicine, Part 3: Standards, Self-Worth, and the Power of Change
Today, I’m closing our series, Things I Wish I Knew Before Quitting Medicine, with a topic close to my heart: standards and self-worth.
I’d like to start with a quote that changed my life years ago. Don Miguel Ruiz wrote:
“Nobody treats you worse than you treat yourself. If they did, you would have left immediately.”
When I first read those words, I was in what I considered an emotionally abusive relationship. I realized that any mistreatment I endured wasn’t random — it echoed beliefs I already held deep inside.
If my ex accused me of being a bad housewife—of not cooking or cleaning enough—it replayed the old voice of the Dominican woman who raised me, who believed, “If you’re not a good housekeeper, you’re not worthy.”
If someone insulted or dismissed me, it resonated with the small voice inside whispering, “Yeah, that’s true. I’m not that special.”
Realizing that was a game-changer.
You may wonder why I’m sharing this when the series topic is about quitting medicine.
It’s because later, after leaving that relationship, I noticed something surprising: I had carried the same patterns into my workplace.
Remember the story from earlier in this series, about the shareholders meeting? My partners debated buying a new piece of equipment. Some insisted on the cheapest machine without considering patient outcomes. Others demanded the flashiest machine to beat the competition, ignoring the financial risk.
When I raised my hand to suggest we slow down and think clearly, someone immediately shushed me:
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
What did I do?
I shut up.
Why?
Because a little voice inside me agreed:
“Yeah… I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m bad at business. Better stay quiet.”
That voice, not my partners, silenced me.
It happened again when an accountant accused me of not making enough money for the practice.¨What I Wish I Knew Before Leaving Medicine: The Power of Values and Integrity¨. His words mirrored a voice inside me repeating:
“Nothing I do is ever good enough.”
That was the same voice that pushed me through medical school, always striving for the next award, the next achievement—without ever feeling satisfied.
I invite you to reflect:
Has someone ever mistreated you—and you accepted it because, deep inside, it echoed how you treated yourself?
Has someone ever dismissed you—and you dismissed yourself first?
Have you ever felt unseen or underappreciated—while failing to appreciate yourself?
It all circles back to what we discussed in the last post: Integrity.
When you know you’re doing your best, when you live aligned with your values, no one else’s judgment can shake you.
Often, people leave a bad relationship or job, only to find themselves in the same situation again. That happens because only the outside changed.
True, permanent change begins on the inside.
Think about a time you finally said “Enough!”
That moment of change came from a shift inside you.
You raised your standards. You raised your self-worth. And because of that, you never went back.
As the beautiful quote says:
“A mind, once expanded, never returns to its original size.”
That’s the kind of change I invite you to create in your life.
No matter what challenge you’re facing in your career or your personal life, change begins with your self-worth—and the standards of what you are willing to accept.
And if you need help figuring that out, you know where to find me. Let’s talk!
With love,
❤️ Diely
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